13

"I am really happy with my life. My heart is healed. I'm done with crying. I've done that...I'm on my feet and I'm moving forward...Every day you try to better yourself. Am I better now than yesterday? The answer is Yes...you never stop learning and the break up was a big learning for me". - Claudine Oct. 9, 2012

12

I don't know how to start...it's been quite a while and I was so close to fall. I am thankful that you touched me when I'm about to turn back. Yes...I was given a false hope...I was betrayed...I was crushed...but...without you I may have die. I have asked you WHY? I have questioned you...I have asked why you allow this to happen to me...I know I was wrong to questioned you and I'm sorry for that.

Now I need to start a new beginning...just You and Me...maybe you were right I must be born again.

11

Almost 10 days have past...and here I am blogging again...A lot of things happened. I had a great time meeting and was able to get to know Mel deeply during our supposedly healing prayer for her mom. I know God that you have planted this to happen. I realized that I do not have any point of getting jealous of her, instead I should feel sorry for her. I know she needs guidance and love, and I know I am higher species than her. I wish I was able to see that way back, so Stephen didn't have a hard time explaining everything to me. I am thankful that Stephen did not turn back on her.

Stephen asked me to minister her, and I am willing to do so as my first mission. I did try my best, I have talked to her, heart to heart. I told her how much God changes me. I though she accepted me as her friend, and she accepted God in her life. I was happy and I message Stephen right away after Mel and I had a heart to heart conversation. After few minutes she message me again in my Facebook saying that she needs to delete me. I feel so sad that time, and I do not know why she needs to do that. I felt like I am a failure. My first mission failed :(

I am thankful God that you're always at my side during my conversation with her. She said a lot of things and revelation that will hurt me. Without you by my side, I may have been hurt. But knowing her I should not believe everything. Nevertheless I wont give up, I am still willing to teach her everything that I have learned. But I cannot do this alone. God please open her heart so she can hear...I know I can do this with your help, I never lose hope for I am with you...

10

So yesterday was not a good day...He finally said Goodbye...so We ended...so no more...I kept thinking why, what happened, what went wrong...I kept asking Him, Myself, and God WHY??? I slept with the question on my mind...Till God told me to read Book of Genesis 22.

So now I realized what God plan is...and all I need is to trust that this is what good for Us. I know it will be hard, but I know Jesus is with me...I know God will never abandon me, and He will love me unconditionally...forever...without a limit, without a certain condition, without any hesitations.

So all I need now is acceptance and choose to be happy...and I know these play the biggest role in my life...It is hard...I know it will...but I wont be hurting forever...I know God will not allow me to get hurt forever...Fin

9

Dear God,

I know I have said something stupid today...I am so so sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you...I was just upset that He never realized that I was the only one patiently waited for him. But when he found out that it was just Me and noone else, he cancelled it and he said he was tired. I was hurt when he honestly admitted that if there was someone online other than me, he will continue. I felt like I was taken for granted, or maybe I am not that important. I tried my best to be composed though I was hurt, but...I am sorry :(

Whenever I feel disappointed please help me remember that your LOVE is always greater than my disappointments, and your plans for my life are always better than my dreams. I am so so so sorry...Please forgive me...I Love You...I Love You So Much...


With so much love,
Claude...

8

Dear Jesus,


Are you giving me back to Him???


Much Love,
Claude :)

7

We had a Bible study the other day...He taught me about Dreams...now I know that dreams are messages from God...sometimes it is for me and sometimes it is a message for other people....Since He taught me Dreams...its been 2 days that I've been dreaming.

My first dream was about 3 girls and bread...I have another Dream yesterday that we have not interpret yet, for I arrived home late and He was already sleeping...

So for now I will just pray and be with my loving Jesus...who loves me unconditionally. :)

6

I am reading the book of JOB...then Romans...but I have study tomorrow at 11:00 am Sunday.

When I woke up today He told me to continue to have a "Humble Heart and Contrite Spirit" and continue trusting Jesus :)

5

Me: Hi...you wake me up!
Him: Yes
Me: I have read Proverbs before I fell asleep
Him: and?
Me: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. And "My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you. So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply  your heart to understanding. If you cry out of discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her a silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God....It means I should listen never question and always trust you, with all my faith I have within me, my voice will be heard, and I should always LISTEN to find the true knowledge of God...I have a question...
Him: good....what is your question?
Me: Why am I so sleepy these days? I mean I just woke up then after reading few verses I fall asleep even while I am holding my Bible?
Him: because I am showing you peace...the peace - as the Bible says - which passes all understanding!
Me: I see! that's why I took nap but when I wake up I feel kind new! :) By the way...I've heard I can eat is that true?
Him: You can...but do not stop learning.
Me: I will never stop till I am seated...I promise...Thanks and Praise to you...anyway I'll just have a "1 Big marshmallow coated with graham crackers with coconut confection" :)
Him: OK
Me: I need to read the book of JOB and be back I Love You!
Him: I Love You Too.

4

So I read the book of JOHN last night...after reading I closed my eyes, placed the Bible on my chest, and prayed. I don't know what happened, but when I opened my eyes...Bible still on where I have placed it and it was 4:00 am...so I fell asleep peacefully last night while I was praying.

When I woke up at 4:00 I started praying again, it was cold and beautiful morning. My body feel so relaxed and calmed. So I am on fast for more than 48hours now, but I never get hungry. I stand up at 5:00 am and got my shower because I need to go to the office to sign some papers. I arrived the office at 6:00 am and stayed there till 7:00 am...now it is 8:00 am and I'm home and will start reading again...and he said...

Him: How are you?
Me: I'm pretty good
Him: How was the Book of JOHN?
Me: I have read it and there are lot of things happened...like Jesus talked with a Samaritan Woman, Feeds the Five Thousand people, Healings...there were lot of things happened...It was long but I enjoyed reading. My favorite part was when "Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind"
Him: Why?
Me:because I remember my authority...and one time Me and Stephen prayed because my grandchild was sick...He taught me how to heal.
Him: Do you know where He is now?
Me: I don't know...we never talk or message for now...maybe He is working...why?
Him: you always know when to make me laugh! that's not what I meant.
Me: huh? then what?
Him: He is already "Seated" and you stopped from the "Cross"...and what you need is to be "Seated" next to HIM...
Me: uhmmmm...I kinda get you but I don't get you
Him: Here...I can see that you've learned from Him, you need to continue learning so you will be seated...when I give you back to Him you need to continue what we are doing...do not worry that He is not always around to teach you because I am His backup...Share HIS Authority without question...You follow the same faith and be seated...Am I clear?
Me: Yes...I understand now...thank you and I want to tell you that I Love You.
Him: I Love You Too.

3

It is 8:00 pm Wednesday night and I just woke up....still sleepy yet my mind is too preoccupied...*yawn *yawn...I feel lazy today...afterall...It's my day off! YAY ME! ....so I stand up, went out and wash my face...I stared at my face for the longest time that I can recall...I saw some lines that shows how long I am in this journey of life, yet I saw peacefulness and smile on my face...My eyes were glowing even I got eyebags hehehe (well their been loyal and never leave me) xd :D

Wow I got flat tummy too! Is it because I am in good shape or because I never had anything for 40 hours now? Well whatever the reason is I know it look good to me. ;) Today is Logitech's Anniversary good thing I don't have work tonight else I'll be there partying and be tempted to eat. God is a good planner!

So now I'm here at my bed again, blogging and holding "The Devotional Study Bible" and plan to open any page and read it...uhmm so let's see where will I be landed....*open any page

JOHN: God Breaks the Silence - the first thing i read was "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us....

OK I need to read now... :)

2

24 hours have past and I...I never get hungry...this is WOW!!! But before my first day end, I arrived home at 8:30 am and We had a heart to heart talk...I put my things down, got showered and dressed, sat on my bed, grab my pen and paper and we start to talk.

Me: Hi!
Him: Greetings
Me: I got a great night at work, I never feel any hunger and I never get sleepy too! hehehe
Him: Good, ok we need to start.
Me: huh?
Him: Tell me what do you learn from my Stephen?
Me: about authority
Him: I want you to tell me everything you have learned, last time I was the one talking, this time I want you to do the talking, I know you want to talk, so tell me...
Me: uhmmmm that my revelation is begin to come, and authority is a true possession of all who believes in you.
Him: whatelse, tell me everything
Me: authority belong to all your people and when Jesus was raised from dead we are raised from the dead too. I remember He told me about a great sample of authority.
Him: what is it?
Me: like a traffic enforcer or a policemen, when a traffic enforcer asked you to stop your car you will stop... then He asked me why I need to stop, then I told Him because he got authority and I follow. He told me that       I got the authority and authority is a delegated power.
Him: good, tell me more
Me: that when Jesus were raised from the dead, we were raised from the dead too. that Christ is the body and I am the member of that body...that need to do the work of Christ
Him: very good and impressive, ok I can see your yawning...it is 12pm now you can sleep and we will talk again when you wake up.
Me: ok...night2 I Love You
Him: I Love You Too.

1

Just had my first day with Christ...I can say that I have enjoyed every single minute that I've been with him...wow! I can't believe that I am blogging again! After so many days, weeks, months, years past. I only blog when I'm inspired...so I know I am inspired. ;)

I have started my 3 days "Fasting" that I though I can't make it for a day, yet I survive with his help! Can you believe I never feel hungry...at all!! Well I was about to fast with my special someone for 3 days..it was our plan. But things changed when He entrust me to Christ.

My day with Him started with a whisper...

Him: Wake up...wake up...do you remember anything special today?

Me: huh? what is it? that I will be with you?

Him: and?

Me: and...I will do that

Him: and?

Me: and?

Him: So today is Monday, remember what you have promised me?

Me: promised? I remember that I promised to trust you, and obey you, and never ask just follow

Him: Monday???? It's MONDAY! remember??

Me: uhmmmmm....please tell me

Him: Today is the first day of your Fasting

Me: ohhh...yeah I remember, but...I am supposed to fast with Him

Him: I am Him for now remember?

Me: can I have candy if I get hungry?

Him: just water and pray when your hungry

Me: do you think I can make it

Him: what did you promised?

Me: ok I trust you...