13

"I am really happy with my life. My heart is healed. I'm done with crying. I've done that...I'm on my feet and I'm moving forward...Every day you try to better yourself. Am I better now than yesterday? The answer is Yes...you never stop learning and the break up was a big learning for me". - Claudine Oct. 9, 2012

12

I don't know how to start...it's been quite a while and I was so close to fall. I am thankful that you touched me when I'm about to turn back. Yes...I was given a false hope...I was betrayed...I was crushed...but...without you I may have die. I have asked you WHY? I have questioned you...I have asked why you allow this to happen to me...I know I was wrong to questioned you and I'm sorry for that.

Now I need to start a new beginning...just You and Me...maybe you were right I must be born again.

11

Almost 10 days have past...and here I am blogging again...A lot of things happened. I had a great time meeting and was able to get to know Mel deeply during our supposedly healing prayer for her mom. I know God that you have planted this to happen. I realized that I do not have any point of getting jealous of her, instead I should feel sorry for her. I know she needs guidance and love, and I know I am higher species than her. I wish I was able to see that way back, so Stephen didn't have a hard time explaining everything to me. I am thankful that Stephen did not turn back on her.

Stephen asked me to minister her, and I am willing to do so as my first mission. I did try my best, I have talked to her, heart to heart. I told her how much God changes me. I though she accepted me as her friend, and she accepted God in her life. I was happy and I message Stephen right away after Mel and I had a heart to heart conversation. After few minutes she message me again in my Facebook saying that she needs to delete me. I feel so sad that time, and I do not know why she needs to do that. I felt like I am a failure. My first mission failed :(

I am thankful God that you're always at my side during my conversation with her. She said a lot of things and revelation that will hurt me. Without you by my side, I may have been hurt. But knowing her I should not believe everything. Nevertheless I wont give up, I am still willing to teach her everything that I have learned. But I cannot do this alone. God please open her heart so she can hear...I know I can do this with your help, I never lose hope for I am with you...

10

So yesterday was not a good day...He finally said Goodbye...so We ended...so no more...I kept thinking why, what happened, what went wrong...I kept asking Him, Myself, and God WHY??? I slept with the question on my mind...Till God told me to read Book of Genesis 22.

So now I realized what God plan is...and all I need is to trust that this is what good for Us. I know it will be hard, but I know Jesus is with me...I know God will never abandon me, and He will love me unconditionally...forever...without a limit, without a certain condition, without any hesitations.

So all I need now is acceptance and choose to be happy...and I know these play the biggest role in my life...It is hard...I know it will...but I wont be hurting forever...I know God will not allow me to get hurt forever...Fin

9

Dear God,

I know I have said something stupid today...I am so so sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you...I was just upset that He never realized that I was the only one patiently waited for him. But when he found out that it was just Me and noone else, he cancelled it and he said he was tired. I was hurt when he honestly admitted that if there was someone online other than me, he will continue. I felt like I was taken for granted, or maybe I am not that important. I tried my best to be composed though I was hurt, but...I am sorry :(

Whenever I feel disappointed please help me remember that your LOVE is always greater than my disappointments, and your plans for my life are always better than my dreams. I am so so so sorry...Please forgive me...I Love You...I Love You So Much...


With so much love,
Claude...

8

Dear Jesus,


Are you giving me back to Him???


Much Love,
Claude :)

7

We had a Bible study the other day...He taught me about Dreams...now I know that dreams are messages from God...sometimes it is for me and sometimes it is a message for other people....Since He taught me Dreams...its been 2 days that I've been dreaming.

My first dream was about 3 girls and bread...I have another Dream yesterday that we have not interpret yet, for I arrived home late and He was already sleeping...

So for now I will just pray and be with my loving Jesus...who loves me unconditionally. :)